Sunday, December 30, 2012

Burn Out

As 2012 comes to a close & we look back on this past year, one thing seems to be very much in need.....a complete burn out of this phoenix. 2012 was a year filled with many hardships for me starting back on January 1st & I'm coming into the last of the year the way a cartoon character comes into the finish line.....face in the dirt, ass in the air, tears streaming from my eyes & inches from the finish line. 

This year I have had 6 surgeries, I have been bloated out from meds, gained 25 pounds, lost my once in a life time job at Disney, lost the ability to successfully continue my culinary job in a high paced kitchen, had all sorts of health issues & money is once again non-existent. I have spent endless weeks on the couch sick or in pain. Even morned the loss of my dear pet. We've had to deal with ceiling that continued to leak after being fixed & countless mishaps to go along with it all. 2012 just hasn't been a whole lot better then 2011.

There have also been some wonderful moments throughout the year as well. Although I haven't been able to work, I've luckily had some insurance money to fall back on to help out. When I was sick for pretty much all summer, I got to spend part of it watching the Olympics with a good friend cheering on America's athletes. I got to play with my whole family twice this year. I got some of things done on the condo & its looking awesome. The whole time all of the bad was happening, I still had the best partner in the world. He always cared, always helped & always loved me! So there was good amongst the bad, just a lot of bad.

I have been thinking A LOT about the my current phoenix. I burnt out back in 2005 & gave rebirth to the phoenix that became a chef. Prior to this one, was my performing artist phoenix. Both allowing me to fly to great heights & I soared pretty damn high each time. So I am neither scared of a complete change, nor do I fear that I can't do great as that new phoenix. As I look back, it just makes more & more since that it's time for a burn out & very much time for a new rising! So I am getting ready now for a change into the new me. I guess I'm just too big of a fish to stay in a little here's to a new me & greater 2013!

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